Ed Looks To Be EU Chip Envoy

It seems to me that I am eminently suitable to be the ‘Chips Envoy’ proposed by the European Semiconductor Industry Association, Ed confides to his diary.

I have done 30 years before the mast in the chip industry, been the CEO of three semiconductor companies, been the UK’s principal Minister for science, technology, industry and commerce and I know my way around the industry.

Of course objections have been made that I am not ‘European’ enough being a citizen of a non-EU country but I point out that I also have an Irish passport (obtained when I was re-settling some investment funds in Dublin), so nationality need not disqualify me.

I have been doing some serious lunching in Munich, Agrate and Eindhoven assuring the folks there that, under my tenure as Chips Envoy, the majority of any funds raised by EU Chips Acts or other public funding will be directed to Europe’s Big Three chip companies rather than of being wasted on nonsense such as SMEs and researchers.

This pragmatic and level-headed approach to the responsible disbursement of public funds to support the chip industry has met with a sympathetic response from my luncheon guests and I have built a solid body of support for my candidature for Chip Envoy.

Meanwhile I have been doing the rounds of the research establishments and universities assuring then that my policy as Envoy will be to switch the emphasis of EU Chip Industry support from giving it to the big companies to giving it to research institutes, universities and startups.

My contacts with the Brussels Eurocrats have been aimed at assuring them that my strategy as Envoy will be to build several large funds which they will have sole responsibility for disbursing as they see fit, so maximising the opportunities for the Bruxellois to trouser some of the boodle.

I think I have covered all the bases. Soon I could be determining the allocation of billions of Euro. This could be a mega-boondoggle.